FCNPFFL: Week 2 Results

(Written by league member Joel)

This is the part of the weekly summary where Jason customarily provides
some insight or distills some trend from the week's action. Well, all I
can say is that team Nikachu is building momentum and will be even
stronger with the first waiver pick I have been awarded for writing this
summary. In other news you are strongly urged to volunteer to do next
week's write-up or Jason will start reallocating next year's draft picks.

This week, prepare yourself for a Thursday NFC South basement battle
between the Bucs rushing attack, led by Josh McCown, and the Falcons
rushing attack, led by no one.

OK, now that I have forgotten the weekend, on to the game summaries:

Ike and Jason battled in the easily the week's best contest, as Aaron
Rodgers returned to 2012 form to bring Ike over 100 points but
unfortunately almost all of it went to Jordy Nelson, who led the
Lunatics with 25 points. Delanie Walker and Dan Bailey combined for 40
points, fully validating Ike's mystical draft strategy. But nothing
could stop the Lunatics, as six players hit double digits. Demarco
Murray and Arian Foster combined for 40 points and survived to week
three of the season without injury, making the Tics a very dangerous
team for at least another week or two when Jason will be scraping the
waiver wire for a health RB.

Final Score: Escaped Lunatics 118, Myra's College Fund 108

In the next highest-scoring game, the Situation and Lollipop Kids took
an interesting contest into Monday night with Andrew Luck and Nick Foles
facing off to decide the contest. But it was another unusually healthy
running back who carried the day for the Situation, as Ahmad Bradshaw
piled on 20 points, scoring two touchdowns and catching a pass for
virtually the first time in his NFL career, and then doing it again! But
the Patriots D was the real star for the Situation, as they humiliated
the Vikings no-name offense (who is playing them this week?).

Final Score: Situation 98, Lollipops 68

My team the mighty Nikachu responded well this week after I dropped Ray
Rice following another embarrassingly clumsy adjudication by Roger
Goodell. Rice joined Josh Gordon and Matt Prater on the Nikachu cut
list, finally ridding my team of evil-doers and keeping me on track to
again drop my entire roster by midseason. This week's matchup with
Hume's Bookoo Barbarians looked dead even on paper: one mediocre QB, one
good RB, one bad one, one Bears receiver, a bunch of other dudes. But
Hume got unlucky as Jamaal Charles was injured and Tony Romo finished
with only 12 points, despite the awful Cowboys winning a game (Romo
should be back to 4th quarter garbage points next week). Meanwhile,
Phillip Rivers shredded the legion of boom, making me look like a genius
and not just a guy who forgot to draft a second QB. Brandon Marshall
hauled in 3 TDs and Mark Ingram had a solid game, despite sustaining a
rumored broken hand that could force me to start the Quizz next week.
Incidentally, if someone wants to trade 1 good player for the entire
Atlanta backfield, it is on the block.

Final Score: Nikachu 91, Bookoo Barbarians 40

In our next matchup, DoggNutz continued Jody's "Quest for the Draft
Board 2015" versus Ben's Magic Wands. It got off to a great start, as
Ben Roethlisberger managed only 9 points in a drubbing by the Ravens,
while on the other side of the ball, Dennis PItta picked up only 2
despite the Ravens victory, confounding Jody and ruining his week before
it got started. Meanwhile, Ben's all-WR strategy brought good mojo. With
Terrence West now elevated to a starting role and Pierre Thomas sort of
occasionally playing, Ben put together 75 points led by Peyton Manning's
24. Next week will bring Jody a lineup conundrum at running back, but
one he can solve by trading Knile Davis to me for Travis Kelce and the
entire Atlanta backfield.

Final Score: Magic Wands 75, DoggNutz 53

In another middling affair, Luke wins narrowly for coaching failure of
the week, as Deathtöngue's bench outscored its starters, 58-56. opening
the way for Jimmy Graham's Rainbows & Puppies to eke out a 65-56 victory
led by Graham's 19 points and 14 from Matt Ryan. The rest of Matt's team
turned in solid single digits, and with Josh McCown looking like the
second coming of Steve Young, a QB controversy is brewing as Matt Ryan
still plays for the Falcons, so his upside is severely limited. Luke
inexplicably started real-life benchwarmer Bishop Sankey, then watched
as his fantasy bench racked up  30 points on the ground, while benched
Antonio Gates turned a monster 3-TD performance against the collapsing
Seahawks defense, unfortunately also started by Luke.

Final Score: Rainbows & Puppies 65, Deathtöngue 56

The game that went down to the MNF wire was the game between Nick B and Adam. Our defending champ was looking for his first win of the year and he got healthy quickly behind 20 from Cam Newton. His other Panthers' 'player' was their defense and they roared for 17 points. Nick B responded with 20 from Gio Bernard and 15 from his Cincinnati defense. Going into MNF Nick B trailed by 11, but had his kicker, Adam Vinatieri left while Adam was using Colts TE Dwayne Allen. Vinatieri scored all the points between the two players on MNF, but it was only 9 points leaving him just two points short.

Final Score: Biggums' 'Basers 73 The Knacks 71

In the week's final game, Nate continues is quest for another undefeated
season based entirely on luck and mesmerizing his opponents. Matt
Stafford started strong for the Bounchers, before the Lions offense
completely collapsed against Carolina, taking the rest of Nate's Sunday
with it. Meanwhile, Alex's Sunday started poorly and ended poorly, with
Beast Mode at least contributing his customary touchdown and Jake Locker
scoring 17. The rest of the Peons starters combined for only 11 total
points, while Steven Ridley and Michael Crabtree put up double digits on
the bench, and even 'Lil Beast Mode managed 8. Still, Alex took a narrow
lead into Monday night, only to see LeSean McCoy out-duel Reggie Wayne,
delivering victory in the week's most pathetic game to Hamme's
Bounchers, who are now 2-0.

Final Score: Bounchers 50, Worthless Peons 38