Friday, March 31, 2017

Redemption

'Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!' - Godfather III


I have not sat down and written a blog post in well over a year. It's been a combination of lack of ideas, time and mostly motivation. Now I sit here just over 24 hours away from another Final Four for my beloved North Carolina Tar Heel basketball team and after reading personal entries by Marcus Paige and Kennedy Meeks, I am now inspired.


I have poured my heart out onto paper about the best and worst times of being a Tar Heel fan. This was back in 2013 where I described the 10 best moments I personally have had and the 10 worst moments I have suffered through. Obviously the last shot of the 2016 season would now make the list and the last shot of the game on Sunday versus Kentucky would make that list.


I am now approaching 40 years of age, have a wife and a four year old son. I always assumed my passion for the men's basketball team in Chapel Hill would dwindle as I got older. After all, I didn't attend UNC and I have only seen a handful of games live in my lifetime.


It has not.


Every year I fall head over (pun intended) heels for the new team of 18-22 year kids who adorn those classic baby blue and white Nike jerseys. It is a slow build as I don't allow myself to live and die with every regular season game like in years past. When I was in high school I knew I had to face the mockery of my fellow students AND teachers after a Carolina loss. My sister had to field phone calls all night long on our house phone after a loss. A regular season loss! A loss to supposedly lowly Georgia Tech would have had me faking a cough and cold to get out of school. I had put way too much pressure on something I couldn't control.


This all changes when the calendar turns to March. The beast in me comes out. I resort back to my old ways of locking myself away from the public, turning the lights off and watching the tournament all alone. It is for the safety of everyone else. I'm just not safe to be around during those two hours. I'm an emotional wreck. During the second half of the Kentucky game I went through the seven stages of grief on multiple occasions. Picture below courtesy of Pinterest.




When Roy called timeout I was flying right through Depression and had hit Acceptance by the time the commercial break was over. After Kennedy Meeks failed to inbound the ball I landed on denial and then the corresponding three pointer sent me to Anger, Bargaining and Depression all at once. The last 14 seconds had me see all seven stages up until Luuuuuuuuuke saved their bacon.


I thought the National Championship of 2005 would have cured me of this. As the time ticked off on the longest 12 year drought in my life I let out a primal scream that I thought I could never replicate. Wrong again.


2006 was a rebuilding year, no expectations. It was the most fun I have had during a regular season. Tyler Hansbrough and the freshman class that would eventually cut the nets down three years later could not disappoint. Until March. Just when I was happy enough for UNC not to be terrible, they got really, really good. They faced George Mason in the 2nd round of the tournament. My wife of 7 months went to George Mason. She couldn't care less about the game, but when the Patriots shocked the Heels, she knew to avoid me for a day or two.


The next year UNC blew a late lead in the Elite 8 to my favorite team of my early youth, Georgetown, with a trip to the Final Four on the line. It was personal now, but it would get worse before it got better.


The 2008 Final Four was awful, just bloody awful. It was over before it started, but of course UNC made a run just to give me a second of hope before it was dashed away. That was to be the year. Everyone was going to leave and UNC was going to have to start all over. A funny thing happened though as everyone came back.


2009 from beginning to end was a coronation. Never once did I feel that UNC wasn't going to win the title. They made it look so easy. I didn't scream like I did in 2005, hell I barely broke a sweat. Then again maybe it was me drifting away from being a fanatic?? Nope.


I was able to make it through 2010 because I knew it was going to be a rebuilding year. Duke winning it all didn't help though.


2011 looked to be another rebuilding year until Kendall Marshall emerged. Then I was hooked. He has been far and away my favorite Tar Heel since the 2009 season. He had the ball on a string and made difficult play look effortless. He was also the first athlete that I followed to ever show a personality on Twitter. I grew closer to the team through social media with @Kbutter5 leading the way. The late surge by the Heels had me dreaming of another title, but once again another blue blood got in the way. This time it was Kentucky. How I hate Kentucky. I thought the band was going to break up after that defeat, but when they all came back I knew 2012 was going to be the year.


This was my favorite team. Ever. I was glued to every moment of the 2012 team. The game versus Kentucky was a National Championship preview. They were the two best teams of year no questions asked. Then along came Creighton. {insert string of curse words and hand gestures}. I'm still angry. I feel like us fans were robbed of our chance. I know the players were. One dirty play and all that hard work those kids had worked for was gone. In an instant. I was depressed for a long time. UNC valiantly won a game without Kendall and almost stole one against Kansas. 'Wrist watch 2012' sucked.


2013-2015 were blurs. Maybe it was becoming a father. Maybe it was the hangover to the 2012 team. I thought my passion had run out. My son was my life now. Things had changed. Sure I was there watching UNC fall just short to Iowa State and Wisconsin in the tournament. I still watched all the games. Heck I even watched an ACC Tournament game in a public setting...voluntarily.


Then along came the 2016 team. Whether it was Marcus Paige being as good off the court as he was on the court or Brice Johnson finally developing into the player we had hoped for this team clicked with me. They loved each other and you could tell. The fun they had playing as a team family poured though my television on a nightly basis. I was in the Dean Dome for Paige's return to the lineup vs. Maryland. It was electric. I went to the quarterfinal and semifinal games of the ACC Tournament as it was played in D.C.. This was going to be the team to get another banner raised.


Through five games of the NCAA Tournament, UNC was hardly challenged. I was supremely confident that Carolina would defeat Villanova. I know the players felt this too. Read what Marcus Paige wrote, they loved to play with and for each other. Roy knew he had a special group of kids. Carolina didn't play great, but just when all hope was lost, they rallied. Of course they did. Marcus Paige hit the shot heard round Tobacco Road and at that moment everything was okay. UNC was going to win. They had escaped. 4.7 seconds later the season ended in the worst possible way. To be so close yet be so far away is maddening. I wasn't even 3 years old the last time UNC lost a championship game. This was new to me. I didn't know how to react. I'll never re-watch the game much less Paige's amazing shot. I know what happens next.


I knew the 2017 team was going to still be good. I didn't know how I'd feel as a fan. It is an odd feeling. I coasted through the regular season knowing that nothing meant anything to me save for six games in March and early April. Beating Duke, losing the Duke and Kentucky meant nothing. I was numb. Give me the tournament. Carolina breezed through their first game. Arkansas should have knocked them out, but this team wouldn't quit. It was that comeback that woke me up from my year long coma. I now knew they could do it. They spit in the face of adversity and proved they weren't caught up in memories of a year ago. They dismantled Butler. The brought up Kentucky. Again. That primal scream from 2005 returned for me. That shot was for Kendall Marshall, Marcus Paige and Brice Johnson. It was for everyone that didn't get to cut down a net and hoist a trophy that wore Carolina Blue or cheered for them like they were a part of the team.


If UNC happens to win their next two games I feel like Marcus and Brice should be there. I feel like this is still their team. The players are obviously playing for them and for themselves. The Redemption Season is how it is being dubbed and I'm okay with that. This is just an extension of what almost was last year. Whatever happens I know I am invested. Of course I am. Just when I thought I was out, they have brought me back.