****all results pending a government review of why that wasn't ruled an interception by Seattle last night rather than a sack/fumble. Balls that go forward are usually called forward passes, thus resulting in an interception when the ball doesn't hit the ground and is caught by a member of the opposing team. (not bitter one bit)
Well...I hope everyone was thoroughly entertained by the most exciting 37-7 game in the history of football. We can't all be perched atop the league at 11-1 and having a safe stroll to the semi-finals of the playoffs. For no less than seven teams, the final two playoffs spots were up for grabs heading into MNF in the great northwest.
Everything I type here is based off of the current standings. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT EVERYTHING COULD CHANGE COME WEDNESDAY/THURSDAY. I will explain as best as I can, but without seeing the official stat corrections. For example, last week I earned 2 points on Wednesday as the 49ers were credited with two extra sacks against RGIII. Earlier this season Matt and I had 'tied', but by the time I woke up on Thursday I had lost because the Ravens lost a sack that had turned into a running play by the opposing quarterback. Hell last week Dez Bryant lost 16 yards receiving!!! Stuff happens and with this weeks results, a mere point could swing the fate for four different teams who were all one point away from having their seeds change. Yes guys this league was that close!!! Shut it Adam and your overpowering squad, we can all hear you laughing. It's karma for all the healthcare.gov website jokes I suppose.
Reminder for those four teams that actually play a meaningful game next week: THURSDAY night brings us the TEXANS and JAGUARS. I assume that game means nothing to any playoff team, but I'll throw it out there anyways.
Onto the godforsaken madness that had Mike and I up all night crunching numbers and scenarios on how it all went wrong.
Usually I start with my game, but that would ruin the suspense of the evening.
Let's start with the Hardi War of 2013. Win and you're in, lose and you're out. Father v Son. Thanksgiving week. Drew Brees vs Josh McCown. John came in on fire and Joel came in with a bunch of injured/benched players. He did have Josh McCown though who led all scorers with 29 points. John had Brandon Marshall on his side, but unfortunately every pass went to Alshon Jeffery as Marshall mustered just 3 points. Joel plugged in Shane Vereen for a benched Stevan Ridley and that got him 11 points while the Dolphins D added 13 points. John got 13 each from Stephen Gostkowski and the Panthers D, but looked to be dead in the water until fantasy zombie Steven Jackson blew up with 20 points. He was right back in the game with his best player left to play. Drew Brees needed 18 points to get John into the playoffs. Seattle was having none of that as Brees could only post half that leaving John just short of a miraculous season comeback. It was a great effort. Joel gets in with an injured Aaron Rodgers/Julius Thomas/Percy Harvin and a benched Stevan Ridley. Not too shabby in a 14 team league.
Final Score: Nikachu 75 The Situation 67
The next team that controlled his own destiny was Nate who just needed a win to get in against Matt. Nick B, Ike, Mike and I all needed Matt to win even though he had been eliminated on points alone to have a chance. Nate made a critical error by not setting his roster (I assume) leaving DeMarco Murray out and either Woodhead/Rainey in. Murray scored three touchdowns which was good for 26 bench points. Instead Nate had only one double digit scorer in RGIII who tallied 22 points. Matt came to play behind a stable of quality outings. Nick Foles stayed lightning hot with 25 points, Adam Vinatieri booted 20 points, Reggie Bush scampered for 19, Torrey Smith hauled in 12 and Larry Fitzgerald continued to amaze with 10 points. Matt had done his job opening the door for the four of us. Nate...well we'll get to that in a bit.
Final Score: Rainbows & Puppies 91 The Bounchers 59
So now Nick B could get in with a win or I could get in with a win and some help. This still makes plenty of sense. That is until this game came along. I got started on Thursday with 17 from Le'Veon Bell and took a 17 point lead into Sunday. Cam Newton got Nick B rolling with 31 points and Michael Floyd hauled in a TD to score 12 points. I had gotten a decent game from Josh Gordon, but was toiling in obscurity until he caught a game changing 95 yard touchdown and I suddenly vaulted ahead with his 35 point performance. I then got 19 from Kaep while Nick got 11 from Phil Dawson leaving me with an 11 point lead and Nick B having just the Seahawks D left to play. After a very questionable sack/fumble for a defensive TD, Nick B had regained the lead. The Saints scored knotting our game at 98 and that's the way it ended. Seattle earned no sacks/turnovers the rest of the way and the Saints couldn't score one meaningless TD the way the Rams did to my 49ers D late in the fourth to cost me two points. Ah two points...or hell one point how I love thee. C'mon stat correction gods!!! With the tie, Nick B and I were eliminated from playoff contention (Nick B due to points, me for being 0.5 games behind the group with a stellar .462 win %. We did both end up with the top scoring week of the league so we were splitting $10...two ways for now.
Final Score: Escaped Lunatics 98 The Knacks 98
So now it was up to Mike and Ike to decide the final playoff spot. Win and you're in for both of them. Simple as that. Both teams were going to outscore the others at .462 (Nick B, Matt, John and Nate). Mike started Carson Palmer over Matt Ryan which paid off as Palmer led the way for his team with 23 while Ryan score 18. Unfortunately, most every other decision went wrong for him. Andre Brown did score 16, Dez added 10, but Fred Jackson and his 18, Mike Wallace and his 11 and Greg the leg and his 8 could have all added more points to his starting lineup. Very similar to me starting Gano over Tucker and leaving 12 points on the table...the decisions we make that bite us in the ass. Ike got 14 from Gronk, 11 each from Moreno and AJ Green, but was dead to rights heading into MNF down by 24 with each team having two players left to play. In my head I couldn't figure out how Russell Wilson and Garret Hartley would outscore Jimmy Graham/Saints D by 24+ points. Wilson scored early only to see Jimmy Graham come right back to score. Then Wilson scored again and again as he shredded the Saints D. Ike had taken a lead, but with a sack and a Graham catch, Mike took a one point lead. Up a million points, the Seahawks faced a 3rd&7 with Wilson at 298 yards passing. This was basically his last series in the game. Ike was down a point. Mike was in the playoffs. One play...a pass to Zach Miller for a 1st down and Ike earned the final point of the night. Game tied. Yup. Another frickin' tie!!! Mike and Ike both join me at 5-7-1 and eliminated (barring further review).
Final Score: Bookoo Barbarians 73 Myra's College Fund 73
So that brings us back to the 4 teams at 6-7 or in Nick's case 5-6-2. All a .462 win % per CBS.
Head to head thrown out for a tie of 3+ teams.
We go to points....drum roll please.....
Nate gets in by virtue of being the top scoring team of that bunch!
Scenarios if anything changes from the ties:
If Nick B, Mike, Ike or I earn a point more than the others...we're in over Nate.
If Nick B loses his point from the sack/fumble that should be an INT, I'm in
If for any reason Mike and I both earn one point...Mike is in because he scored one more point than me on the season...yeah wouldn't that be a kick in the nuts??
If Ike and Nick B earn a point...Ike is in by points
Basically it goes from Mike to Jason to Ike to Nick B to God to Kent to the cleaners (name that movie reference).
We'll see if anything changes, but for right now...Nate is the #6 seed.
We still had the #3/#4 seeds to decide:
Nick G rolled through Luke behind 34 from Alshon Jeffery, 21 from AP, 15 from Rashad Jennings and 13 from Andrew Luck. Matt Stafford scored 24 for Luke as he rested up for his game in two weeks. Nick G became the 3rd member of the 98 point club for the week meaning Nick B's and my $5 and no playoff spot, turned into $3.33 and no playoff spot. Awesome. Nick G locked up the #3 seed with that win.
Final Score: The Lollipop Kids 98 Deathtongue 66
Ben having locked up the #4 seed now lost anyways to a red hot Jody. The only fun part was to see if Marshawn Lynch could get two more points to tie the game up with Jody and give us three ties on the week. Jody got 15 from Rivers, 14 from CJ2K and 11 from MJD to outlast Peyton Manning's 38 points.
Final Score: DoggNutz 64 The Magic Wands 62
Oh yeah, Adam won again by destroying Alex. Eric Decker became the newest hero for Adam with 35 points while Tim Brady tallied 25 and Jamaal Charles scored 16. Adam has now won 9 in a row and awaits somebody in the semi-finals in two weeks. Congrats again on a great season. If you had started Golden Tate over Terrance Williams we would have had four teams at 98 points.
Final Score: Biggums' 'Basers 94 Worthless Peons 50
Final regular season standings (so far):
Biggums' 'Basers (Adam) 12-1 (#1 Seed Back Wall Division Winner)
Deathtongue (Luke) 7-5-1 (#2 Seed Critter Corner Division Winner)
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Lollipop Kids 9-4 (Nick G) 9-4 (#3 Seed; Wild Card #1)
The Magic Wands (Ben) 8-5 (#4 Seed; Wild Card #2)
Nikachu (Joel) 7-6 (#5 Seed; Wild Card #3)
The Bounchers (Nate) 6-7 (#6 Seed; Wild Card #4)
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Rainbows & Puppies (Matt) 6-7
The Situation (John) 6-7
The Knacks (Nick B) 5-6-2
Bookoo Barbarians (Mike) 5-7-1
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Escaped Lunatics (Jason) 5-7-1
Myra's College Fund (Ike) 5-7-1
DoggNutz (Jody) 4-9
The Worthless Peons (Alex) 3-10
Week 14 (Playoffs Week 1) Schedule:
Championship Bracket:
Adam/Luke BYE Week
#3 Nick G vs #6 Nate (winner to play #2 Luke)
#4 Ben vs #5 Joel (winner to play #1 Adam)
Purgatory Bracket:
#7 Matt vs #10 Mike
#8 John vs #9 Nick B
Toilet Bowl Bracket:
#11 Jason vs #14 Alex
#12 Ike vs #13 Jody
Again...if anything changes, I'll let you know. Good season everyone. I feel decimal point scoring is on the horizon!!!
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